


We're back on this bullshit again

by HolyMosesonaStick



Category: Main tags whomst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 20:38:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14089191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyMosesonaStick/pseuds/HolyMosesonaStick
Summary: Bam the third installment





	We're back on this bullshit again

All was peaceful in the kingdom of Yuuei, the bird were singing and the flowers were blooming and all was right in the world. That was until the evil villains of evilness, Shitaraki, DABi, and Stabby McStababitch, waltzed right into the kingdom and stole the ever so beautiful Prince Monoma, here’s how.

In the dark of the night, the evil villains of evilness crept through the town, dressed up as completely regular normal people outfits and for once didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. They snuck into the castle with the help Just Kurogiri, sliding slyly into the silent room belonging to the soundly sleeping prince. Monoma, slumbering quietly, did not notice the evil villains of evilness come into his room, nor did he notice when he threw them into the portal. To his credit, he did wake up when he landed in a dragon’s chamber filled with mangoes oddly enough.

“Why the fuck am I in the dragon’s den now?” Monoma asked loudly, waking the dragon, which looked at him with wide brown eyes, that Monoma had to admit were very pretty. The dragon flew closer before landing right in front of him, letting out a huff of steam directly into Monoma’s face, which he thought was quite rude honestly and he could do without it.

“Honestly how the fuck should I know,” The dragon started, “These weird ass humans just came into my cave and threw a bunch of mangoes in my face and said take care of the piece of shit that they were gonna drop off and then they just left. It was rude but hey, I fucking love mangoes so why not.” Monoma sighed, unable to disagree with the dragon’s logic. 

“So like,I’m stuck here now?” Monoma asked yet another question looking around at the mountains of mangoes, wondering how the dragon is gonna eat them all before they expire away into nothing.

“I mean I guess, they didn’t exactly explain how long they wanted you to stay here so like, I guess you are here forever? I don’t know do you wanna play some cards?” The dragon offered, suddenly realizing that the author hasn’t given it a name but really doesn’t care. Monoma weighed his options, and really couldn’t find a reason not to. If he was going to be in this mango filled cave with a fire breathing dragon, he might as well play cards with it.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Back at the evil villains of evilness’s lair, Shitaraki addressed his underlings, a completely manic look in his eye for some reason. Everyone else just kinda sat around, kind of bored if they were telling the truth.

“We have done it, after 25 years of my long life planning-” Shitaraki was interrupted by none other than DABi, a smirk written upon his heavily scarred face. “Wait boss how old are you actually?” DABi asked, bearing a shit eating grin like he knew that he was just interrupting Shitaraki’s villainous speech. Shitaraki, doing the weird neck scratchy thing that he does, angrily continued.  
“As I was saying, 25 years of my long life planning for that’s wretched Prince Monoma’s capture and I finally did it! That loathsome prince has been a thorn in my side-” Once again, Shitaraki was interrupted, this time by McStababitch.

“So, like, what the hell did this Prince Monoma do to you anyways to get you to like, hate him and all that jazz?” McStababitch asked, a genuinely curious look on her face and a knife in her hand cuz she is so edgy *rawr* XD Shitaraki looked on triumphantly, that weird thing he does with his face happening.

“I am gladded you asked McStababitch, you see, when I was a young boy, my father took me into the city, to see a marching band. I met Prince Monoma and all he did was hand me a thing of chapstick and called me a crusty bitch >:(.“ Everyone just looked at him with disbelief written all over their faces.

“So wait, you are telling me that you made us go through all that work kidnapping the literal prince, you did all of that planning, and you made us steal all of those mangoes just to get back at someone who called you a crusty bitch? By the way he was telling the truth, you need some fucking lotion and that’s coming from me,” DABi snarked, done with Shitaraki’s bs.

“If y’all are gonna be like that than I’m leaving, I’m cutting toxic people out of my life this 2018,” Shitaraki said, warping the fuck out of there with the assistance of All for Dick, using all of his 14 hands to give them the middle finger.

“So like...do you wanna play cards?” Stabby McStababitch asked, whipping out a fat stack of em. DABi just nodded, he couldn’t really be assed to care about any of this, he was just there for the mangoes.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Meanwhile, the king has commissioned Crow, the noble and brave and awesome knight in shining armour, to go and to save the prince. Crow, having fallen madly in love with the prince but being unable to express their love due to their societal differences, instantly jumped on the chance to save the dashing yet helpless prince.

Riding on their pure white horse, Crow rides off into the sunset, on a quest to the dragon’s dungeon to slay the dragon and save the prince, just a normal Tuesday really. Going through forests and swamps, fighting off bats and wolves, Crow ventured on to the dragon’s cave, going on a much more interesting journey than what I have written I swear.

Making it to the dragon’s cave, Crow blew open the entrance, only to find the dragon and Monoma peacefully playing cards while eating mangoes of all things, seriously since when did dragons like mangoes?

“Do..do you need rescuing Monoma, because the king was all in a panic talking about how you being violently tortured but like, you don’t look very tortured to me,” Crow said, obviously confused at this situation. Monoma merely gave Crow a happy grin and ran up to them, giving them a big hug.

“Hey Crow! I mean I guess I could be rescues but I kind of like it here. I mean I have only been here for a bout a day or two but the dragon is super nice and shares her mangoes with me so that’s pretty cool. I don’t have any of those boring princely duties either, which were such a bore. I am a dashing prince of course, but it is nice to not have to deal with everything always. I could handle it though, don’t think I can’t,” Monoma stated boldly, and then dragged Crow over to the dragon.

“Crow, the dragon. The dragon, Crow. Now that we have gotten introductions out of the way, I guess I will have to give you an award for coming all of this way just to find lil old me ;;;))))))” Monoma said, giving Crow a chaste kiss on the lips. Crow was shocked because holy shit a fucking prince just fucking kissed him wow. Taking hold of this situation, Crow dipped Monoma into a deep kiss, the orangey purple glow of the sunset illuminating them like some kind of renaissance painting. The dragon simply sighed and went to go make another bed for the newcomer, knowing the two wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.

The fucking end.


End file.
